30 minuts

out of sight
out of mind
out of time
to decide

do we run?
should i hide?
for the rest
of my life?

can we fly?
do i stay?
we could lose
we could fail

in the moment
it takes
to make plans
or mistakes

30 minutes, a blink of an eye
30 minutes to alter our lives
30 minutes to make up my mind
30 minutes to finally decide

30 minutes to whisper your name
30 minutes to shoulder the blame
30 minutes of bliss, thirty lies
30 minutes to finally decide

carousels
in the sky
that we shape
with our eyes

under shade
silhouettes
casting shade
crying rain

can we fly?
do i stay?
we could lose
we could fail
either way
options change
chances fail
trains derail

Humming bird and pink rose

We are so real as the sunrise and the sunset every single day at my window,
We are so real as the fresh and clean summer morning rain,
I am so real as the spring morning dew in the pink roses at the back yard and
You are so real as the dark blue humming bird searching for the roses' honey.
We are so real as the fact that you will probably be the one opening the petals still wet by dew and smelling chocolate for the very first time and,
We will entangle us through multi colour silk ribbons.
It's so real as the fact I wake up everyday feeling your essence exhaling from my pores
It's so real as the melodies composite by birds celebrating the bliss
And they can't take it away from us, not even steal our sunshine, cause we are so real as their weakness and our strength.

No more darkness

You blame me for something I can't control I feel guilty, you controled every single move I made and I thought I was part of your life like you was part of mine.
It took so long for me to see you fooled me.
It took so long for me to set myself free. I should know that prince charming only exist in fairy tales ad you turn my life intoa nightmare.
I was in love with you, but you're just a big fat lie and when I needed you most you walked away from me, you never made me feel like I was special, cause I am special, doens't matter if I am in college or not, doens't matter how graduated I can be, I am still special and you was so blind to see it.
It was a huge mistake believing you and trusting every single word you said.
The pills in my night table shows me how sick I'm and it's all because of you.
The only thing I want now is you to pass away like a river ain my life and never comes back.
Because there's something wrong about you cause you're too perfect to be true.
I hope your mamma have told you that what goes around comes back around.


Listening: The Rasmus - No Fear

Bringing on the heartbreak!

The only thing I want now, it´s to rest my head, cause it´s about to explode...
I loose my ground the only safet place I had.... Now I don´t know what to do anymore, I can´t live without it....
There´s no light ahead and I am confused and desperatly!!!

CountDown

I can't handle this anymore this pigmentation desease, headache, stomache, nervous formication caused by stress and anxiety, the damn calmative makes me sleep 12 hours I wake up feeling my eyes heavy, I also wake up in the middle of the night staying awake for 2 or 3 hours and it's killing me slowly.
I look around and all I can see is the same situation of yesterday and it's driving me nuts.
I'm loosing all my energy and strenght and sometimes all I wanna do is cry, but I know I can't give up now, and I will not give up, but the problem of this challenge is that my body and mind can't take it anymore.
All I need now is my friends to show me that there's a flash of light in the end of the road and I don't need to be afraid.
Oh God my head is like a bomb just waiting to explode!

Clocks

There's a flash of light in the dark room, the shadows in the wall shows me that to do.
Thousand thoughts cross my mind and this numbness feeling come into me, my body shiver after every sencond.
With my eyes closed I wonder If I'll ever fill up this emptiness.
The anxiety is killing me more every single day, can fee the sorrow, I can feel the loneliness stucked in my heart while I have my head pressuder agains the pillow smelling like funeral roses, and I feel like the old times.
I can't hardly wait 'till the end of the year but at the same time I'm afraid of fail again.

Hyvää Syntymäpäivä Tero

I wish all the best for you in this special day, 'cause you're the sweetest guy I've ever met, the kindest friend I've ever had and I like you so much for the amazing person you are.
Thanks for being my friend, to share your thoughts with me, to listen all my stupid things and not to kick me when I am annoying and for all the nights we spend together!
I wish I was there to give you a big special present, well soon I will!
I hope this day is going to be really good, nice, happy 'cause this is what you deserve!

Minä Pidan Sinusta Big Baby

Waiter, I want a brand new friend, please!

Why I've never had a friend connected in the same line as I am? I mean a friend interested in the same things as I am, girls with anything but men in mind!
Some of my friends just wants to get marry at 20's or live the same stupid life always, or perhaps keep feeling for married men!
What's that about? It's suppose to be different in 20th centurie i guess... I hate these girls that lives for loving a guy, i am the kind of "In love girl", cause I am always in love with a song, or a movie, maybe a book, something fashion.... anyway but I live my life for me, I have goals, I want to build my life the way I want to instead of live a life builded for someone else.
Am I different or I just have the wrong girl friends?

I believe!

In the middle of the night
the dark walls, the light in the corner
my mind drowned in several thoughts
and all I have in my heart is faith
cause i know when the sunrise a brand new day
will shine all over me!