Still Standing

This is the time for songs of broken heart, it's time to sleeepless nights and songs that reminds me of you.
I know I should cry but my hearts says it's better to be stronger,
I promised to keep my heart opened for you,
I know you can't wait for me forever.
I promised to save myself just for you
I wish I could be with you,
I promised you the rose
I wish I could change my destiny,
I promised to make your wishes come true
I wish I could turn back time and make everything so different, but maybe that's how is was meant to be.
I promised to keep the door opened just for you
I know we could be together.... but you are not here.
I promised not to cry anymore but speaking about it I can't contain the tears
I thought you would wait, I`ve been standing on the borderline
But I still love you even if now I will be alone picturing you and me
And I promise to keep my heart broken from you till the day you come back!

Forever and after my love!

Dreaming back again

I've lost my dream somewhere between the new air of an old town and the songs I haven't heard for a week, it was when I thought I could consent to live this life once again, I wasn't dreaming at all, I was living like everybody else around me, following the leads destiny has give, looking for serene days in the middle of this jungle, blind for good.Now that I am back to my own bed I can see how vulnerable I was, denying my dreams and closing my eyes to all the walls I had built, ilusions, destructions, lies and my broken heart.I can't give up right now, I know I am good enough for this, now is time to renew my plans, time to look forward and forget about sins and disillusion.I still have clear in my eyes his blue eyes and a lovely smile, my friends that I know I can count on, the voice in my ear and the spiritual release to live with no fear.I am dreaming back again and I am planing once more, packing my bags to sail away, far too long where I know I can forget about the worst I've lived and for a new begining.

The sun rise in the horizon!

I opened my eyes and I can see the sun.. shining shy, everything looks yellow like gold, and I can smell the fresh air of a new day, I am covered by my blankets, warm and safe, my socks on my feet shows me I am still the same, even if life seems to be worst than ever, outside I cannot see any problem, I cannot see anything wrong, maybe is just the sun shinning and covering the shadows of misery and weakness, but I just can feel asafe here.
Your photo is still in the portrait and the letter still on the table, some white papers and colorfull pens shows me I need to slowdown, focus in a song and let my thoughts get out for a freedom world.
I also need to sing out loud, sing my lungs out, take a deep breath and open my eyes... meditation?? yes i do...
Me, my bed, my favorite songs, and a peace of paper, that always take the sorrow away from me, they can wound the scars, they can heal my soul. I know right now I need some more, but meanwhile I will enjoy the view, the view that is right in front of me.
I know I have lots of things to fix, I know I need make some plans for the day, but why should I care right now?
this moment will pass away, the troubles are the same now, in one hours, next morning, but this special time, the now, is now....
If the phone ring I can miss the call, if the door bell rings, the postman will drop the letter in the box, If my mom ask me something I can do later, but the morning fresh air inside my pours, no.. I can't turn my face and just walk away. I can't lose it now.

He is gone!!!

Yesterday i sent a email to Martin and the emails got returned... nice...
He is gone now... I hope it's forever, but I hate stories with this kind of end... I don't know if he was a real person or just a dream... and if he was a dream, he was somekind of nightmare.
Whatever, I will work myself to stop care... I need to, I have to think a little more about me, fuck everybody else, fuck the world!
I also don't want to make friends, I already have enough, I have all the special friend I could, they are enough for a lifetime.
I am tired of selfish people just hanging around cause i am too slow and too nice... i will not be as nice as i was... I will point all the things I hate about them without even care, heartless, rude and tough! and I meant it!
And now he is gone and lots of useless friends will be gone too, no more hours of stupid stories, no more excuses, no more emtpy smiles and fake happiness.
I have the perfect friends that I know I can count on, people I don't need to beg for attention, people that start a conversation, friends who really want to know how I am.
Sometimes is better to be alone, and this is how it will be from now on, I am really tired of all this.
He is gone forver, you are gone, and there's no more "WE", now it's just me, and my friend know they are special, cause I am always around and I will always be, they know where to find me.
So now, he is gone!