CountDown

I can't handle this anymore this pigmentation desease, headache, stomache, nervous formication caused by stress and anxiety, the damn calmative makes me sleep 12 hours I wake up feeling my eyes heavy, I also wake up in the middle of the night staying awake for 2 or 3 hours and it's killing me slowly.
I look around and all I can see is the same situation of yesterday and it's driving me nuts.
I'm loosing all my energy and strenght and sometimes all I wanna do is cry, but I know I can't give up now, and I will not give up, but the problem of this challenge is that my body and mind can't take it anymore.
All I need now is my friends to show me that there's a flash of light in the end of the road and I don't need to be afraid.
Oh God my head is like a bomb just waiting to explode!

Clocks

There's a flash of light in the dark room, the shadows in the wall shows me that to do.
Thousand thoughts cross my mind and this numbness feeling come into me, my body shiver after every sencond.
With my eyes closed I wonder If I'll ever fill up this emptiness.
The anxiety is killing me more every single day, can fee the sorrow, I can feel the loneliness stucked in my heart while I have my head pressuder agains the pillow smelling like funeral roses, and I feel like the old times.
I can't hardly wait 'till the end of the year but at the same time I'm afraid of fail again.

Hyvää Syntymäpäivä Tero

I wish all the best for you in this special day, 'cause you're the sweetest guy I've ever met, the kindest friend I've ever had and I like you so much for the amazing person you are.
Thanks for being my friend, to share your thoughts with me, to listen all my stupid things and not to kick me when I am annoying and for all the nights we spend together!
I wish I was there to give you a big special present, well soon I will!
I hope this day is going to be really good, nice, happy 'cause this is what you deserve!

Minä Pidan Sinusta Big Baby

Waiter, I want a brand new friend, please!

Why I've never had a friend connected in the same line as I am? I mean a friend interested in the same things as I am, girls with anything but men in mind!
Some of my friends just wants to get marry at 20's or live the same stupid life always, or perhaps keep feeling for married men!
What's that about? It's suppose to be different in 20th centurie i guess... I hate these girls that lives for loving a guy, i am the kind of "In love girl", cause I am always in love with a song, or a movie, maybe a book, something fashion.... anyway but I live my life for me, I have goals, I want to build my life the way I want to instead of live a life builded for someone else.
Am I different or I just have the wrong girl friends?

I believe!

In the middle of the night
the dark walls, the light in the corner
my mind drowned in several thoughts
and all I have in my heart is faith
cause i know when the sunrise a brand new day
will shine all over me!